A LETTER THAT WILL NEVER BE READ

Dear Mother,

As I attempt to write this letter to you I am very well aware that you won't read it. To be honest that’s both a relief and a disappointment. Mainly because I know that I won't be able to express half of these feelings ever. Not even in million space years. Yes, I am finally admitting it, mom. Your daughter, the always saying the harsh truth in everyone's face person is not so blunt and upfront as you might think she is.  But that is not the point of writing this letter. 

Mom, I know that you still think I'm very naïve. You never forget to remind that just like I don’t forget to bring up the fact that I won't be a teenager from this year on in every single conversation we have. And deep down I know that you are very well aware of it. May be more aware of it than I might ever be. Are you scared that I might make horrible decisions as an non- teen? Is that why you feel the need to constantly remind me how I need to be more responsible? Is it the reason why you constantly snoop into my life? I know that I haven't been super cool about all the curfew's that you have set up for me. I never liked being constrained. Oh God! Was it a test you deliberately set up to see how much more mature I am now? And much to your dismay I have failed it, haven't I? I should have known better.

Mom, do you remember that one time I cried in 9th grade because I failed that stupid Islam test. And how we were both sitting in front of that grumpy teacher who kept on saying that I was wasting so much potential and how I was doomed based on a 15 mark exam. Trying to pretend like she cared even a bit about my jeopardized future when all she all she wanted to do was mock the fact that a student in a leadership position was a failure. I still remember how on reaching home my siblings made fun of me for being such a cry baby and how you told them that the reason I cried was because it mattered to me. That you were glad that I was sad for a bad grade unlike many children who might not even bother. And I adore you for the fact that you still tease me with that incident every time you want to nag me to study in an indirect way. You know that it ticks me. And I thank you for it.

Mom, while you do not realize how utterly brave your daughter is, I sincerely believe that I got that trait from you. Not that Dad is any less brave or anything. From you I learnt how important it is to stand up for my own beliefs and not to give up even when hurdles get higher than the limit of the skies. I kept my head held high up in front of all those bullies, I stuck to morals when all my friends told me to do otherwise, I faced my fears when all of the molecules in my body directed me to the path of comfort. I was stubborn as hell,  but never a chicken. I still remember that day when our class was held back after school for causing too much mischief in grade 10 and how one guy in the class told how he would make my life so miserable that it would be hard for me to walk on the road for busting their plan. I could never forget how you told him to screw off and not to even a lay a single finger on your daughter. I had to literally make you stop saying anything further. You might think that I was embarrassed by you. I was anything but embarrassed. In fact, it kinda felt good to let someone else fight my battles even for a moment.  Even though your fierce dragon-ish act caused all the more trouble for me, I never once blamed you. Just so you know almost everybody present that day thought you were one hell of a lady. And for your information that jerk-hole who threatened me that day asked me out and I refused. Twice! (Burrrrn!!)

Mom, I know that I had disappointed you infinite times. And I cannot apologize enough for all the times I have let you down. I know that I haven't been the ideal daughter. And it kills me to tell you that I never tried my best. Not even enough. You know it already, don’t you?  I am sorry! Sorry for being a pain in the ass whenever I caught a simple cold. I'm sorry for being such a diva and never helping you with chores. I'm sorry for being stubborn and going to bed hungry when you don’t fulfil my whims. I'm sorry for those times I have hurt you. Sorry for the things I have done, and for things that haven't occurred yet.

However, I'm thankful. For everything you have ever done for me. Everything single thing. And I want you to know that I'm changing. I'm learning. And I'm becoming more responsible and mature with each passing day. And I want you to stop worrying about me so much. I know that mothers can't help but worry about their children. That’s part of who they are. But mother, I want you to know that you taught me well. The right and wrong. You made me wiser than most of the people my age will ever be. And its time you went to bed and fall into slumber without worrying whether I'm sleeping in peace. You are old. Yes, you are. You dedicated most of your life to your children. Its high time that you be freed of that burden.

And as I end this letter, I want you to know that I love you more than you could ever imagine. And I miss you more than I could ever express. And some day, mother, I will make you proud of me. Someday soon!

P.S - You did a good job, mother.

Love,

Your (pain in the ass) daughter 

10 annoying things couples do on Facebook

1. Always have couple pictures as their profile picture

Okay. So the majority of the 'I am in a relationship people' on Facebook usually have a couple photo as their profile picture. And in not so rare cases a person might have their girl friend or boyfriend's solo picture on their profile. This is misleading and annoying on so many levels. Misleading because the profile they have created resembles a single person, while the profile picture states otherwise. Or the mere fact that it is very unappealing to have a profile picture of a boy under a clear cut girl's Id. It is the same as seeing a picture of Brad pitt on Angelina Jolie's profile. Not such a pretty sight, is it now? What these love nuts really need to do is operate under a couple Id. Simple and handy at the same time.

2. Writing unnecessary cute things on each other's walls

This is like the modern version of love notes. One of the many things couples tend to do when they are caught up in the so called mist of love. When I was in school it was the most horrid thing to have couples in class. Now don’t get me wrong. It was a pleasant sight to have these dim witted people with all gooey eyes staring at each other. But they do this thing where they pass these little paper folds (the so called love notes) across the class to each other. It is more like an annoying and overrated version of passing the secret, only in this case not everyone knows the secret. But now since the invention of Facebook, these love notes suddenly seems to be all over the place. Dumb, silly, cute love notes. Much to my dismay they are mostly copy pasted from Google. Duh! The least they could do is be original. Or at least copy paste a romantic 'Bandhi', 'Raivaru' or 'Lhen ' and be unique. 

3. Bombarding other people's pictures with personal conversations

Don’t you just hate it when you upload a picture and  two people just ruin it for you by starting a conversation about that tree in the background which reminds them of their first date. Or a status about how you love a certain book becomes a personal war between two people about their opinion on it. Not to mention the endless trait of hearts they leave with each comment. And no matter how tempted you are, you just have to bear with those comments without deleting them since you don’t want to hurt your friends. The dilemma!

4. 'Own' every picture of their better half

Jack owns <3 Mike owns <3 Luke owns <3 Ezra owns <3. On every damn single picture. I don't know why it annoys me, but it does. And I bet my ass that most of the people who use it doesn’t even know what it really means. I know, reality hits hard.

5. Constantly fraping each other

Now, imagine that awesome moment when you see a sassy status update on your news feed. Literally everybody is going gaga over it. Commenting, liking, blah blah. But only later you know that the person was fraped ( Meaning:) Annoying, right? And with so many people being fraped into declaring their eternal love for Justin Bieber, no wonder that brat still has his head up his ass. I personally blame the couples on Facebook for catastrophe's as such.

6. Those annoying meaningless life events

October 31 - He looked at me for the first time. November 1 - He smiled at me. November 2 - He said Hi. November 3 - Realized my undying love for him. November 4 - In a relationship with (insert name). November 5 - Got engaged to (insert name). November 6 - Got pregnant. November 7 - Got married to (insert name). You basically know what I'm trying to say, right? *sigh*

7. Always writing 'With (Insert name)' on their statuses

Did you notice that couples always make use of that 'with' option. It's hilarious and annoying at the same time. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone updates their status saying "Just pooped and on my way back to the room now- with (insert name)". Ahh! May that day never come. Amen.

8. Over use of the emotion 'Feeling loved'

Aren't couples on Facebook always feeling loved? I wonder if they are really feeling that way or its simply one of many things couples do. Anyhow, its plain annoying and makes me wonder if they are incapable of feeling any other emotion. May be they just don’t realize the fact that we are blessed with uncountable number of synonyms in the English language. Or are they just lazy?

 

9. PDA oozing out of the pictures

Poses that makes me cringe in shame. Poses that makes me want to throw up. One thing these people don’t understand is that a picture of them hugging as if it’s the end of the world is the last thing I want to see on my news feed every time I log into Facebook. Facebook is not a Porn site. For the love of God have some mercy on the people in your friend lists.

10. Sharing love songs

Don’t you just wish that the person would randomly lose all their hair each time they shared a song from Ashiqui 2? Or is it just me? I can't emphasize much on this. Such waste of all those awesome songs on YouTube.

Hold your head up high princess, and don’t let that crown fall

It is never an easy task to move on. Specially, if your heart is still willing to hold on. I know, the Heart is one hell of a organ. Making you do things that you clearly know will never end too well. Swelling up your head with false hopes and dreams and re-framing them again and again every time they shatter.

But sometimes you have to fight these sentiments. Push back those emotions some where they won't be in charge of your life and your decisions .Because at some point you will have to let go. If not, you will never be able to feel the joy of life again.

So take a deep breath. Place your hand over your heart. Just clear your mind and feel it. And remind yourself that you are alive for reason. Don’t give up on life that easy.

Heart broken? Listen to some depressing music and cry your heart out. Cry so much that you could probably fill a the house like Alice did. Eat what ever you want, eat a lot of it. I'm sure you will still look beautiful
 the next day. Play music really loud and dance and sing on the top of your lungs.  Bury yourself in your comforter and relax. Take out you best PJ's and have a girls night in. Smile. Smile at strangers.  Smile when you see your self in the mirror, take pictures. Go for a walk and show your beautiful smiling face and make him wish he never said good bye.

And don’t EVER regret anything. As teenage love, its more like a roller coaster. It's cliché but so true at the same time. Getting really excited to hear his voice. That moment where your heart stops when you finally have the guts to tell him you like him too. Thinking about his every feature and every moment you both spend together. Never being able to explain that first kiss; too good to be true. The fights, screams and yells where your whole body feels weak, with your heart hanging heavily. Falling asleep crying, thinking that nothing could be worse, feeling like you have hit rock bottom. Yet you should be thankful to have the ability to feel that hurt, that you found that someone who could actually make you feel that way. For some people its too late… because in those years that we have, where we laugh and cry, we learn to love and be strong. Don't built up these walls too early, since it will only make you feel  hollow inside later on. And don’t take these years for granted as you will never get them back. And possibly never feel the same again. 

So experience. Dream. Make friends with your intuition. Trust your gut. Accept the fact that sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Make millions of mistakes so that you will know how to choose what you really need, and know when to hold on and to let go. Love hard and love without reservation. Open yourself to possibility. Own your reality without apology. Be bold. Be fierce. Be wild, crazy ad gloriously free. Be you. And always hold your head up high, and don’t let that crown on your head fall. Because you are a princess, and always will be. You just haven't met your prince on a white horse YET :)

Ps - My very first post of 2013. Yep… Its feels awesome to be out here again. This post is dedicated to my darling Blossom ( you know who you are ;) ). Thank you for inspiring me to write again.